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Let your body talk
Observing and reading other people’s actions can bring you closer to people’s true feelings than merely listening to what they say. A lot of books have been written on this science of body language or kinesthetics.
Body language is the science and art of understanding the unspoken communication that goes on between people. Experts say that between 60 to 80 % of our message is transmitted through our body language and only 7 to 10% are attributable to the actual words we say.
This means that if there is a conflict between our body language and the words we say, people are more inclined to believe our actions.
People in business make use of body language to win people and close business. There is no reason why we can’t make use of this powerful tool to be successful in this fun sport of flirting.
Let your body do the talking-positively! Attract the man you like with positive body language. Positive body language is all about making the other people around you feel attractive and interesting.
Positive body language entails the use of plenty of reinforcement behavior that say, ”I like you“, ”I hear you“, ”I understand you“, and ”I want you to continue“.
A word of caution, though. Although the study of body language is approached as a science, it is by no means precise. It cannot be interpreted 100% accurately. A man who crosses his arms does not necessarily mean he is being defensive or does not want you to come closer; it could simply mean he is feeling cold.
Nevertheless, there is no harm in exploring the art of body language in flirting and courtship. Just don’t take it too seriously.
He is interested!
How do you know if the man you are eyeing is interested in you? Watch out for these cues:
- He gives you a lingering smile
- He straightens his jacket, shirt or other clothing
- His pupils become dilated
- He rubs his hands across his hair
- He looks at you with a lowered, intimate gaze and hold it longer than usual
- He puts his thumbs in his belt
- He points his foot towards your direction
- He straightens his posture
- He puts his hands on his hips and thrust his chest out
- He glances at you sideways with raised eyebrows and a slight smile
- He spends more time looking at you than looking away
- His mouth is relaxed, slightly parted
- When seated, he will tend to spread his legs apart
You are interested!
How do you tell that attractive man from across the room to come over to chat you up? You can send him positive body signals. Previous research and my own observation have shown that most males would interpret these signals as ”I like you. You can come over…“.
- You glance at him sideways, with slightly raised eyebrows and a tentative smile
- You meet his gaze and hold it for a moment and smile
- You look at him a few times and glance away
- Your posture becomes alert
- You turn your body toward your target
- Your eyes sparkle
- Your pupils dilate
- You lick your lips
- You tilt your head slightly
- You thrust your chest forward
- You toss your hair
- You straighten your blouse or skirt
You are not interested!
Your intention may be attract the good pickings, but you may be sending the wrong body signals. See if you are guilty of these moves.
- You look away quickly when you meet his gaze
- You have a neutral, polite look on your face
- Your mouth remains closed
- You unconsciously sag to de-emphasize breasts
- Your head remains vertical
- Your eyes remain normal
- Your posture remains unchanged
- Your smile is sudden and fades abruptly
- You turn you body away from him
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