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Is he the One?
Now you have weeded out the Mr. Wrongs. You would now be choosing from probable Mr. Rights. Of course, there is no foolproof guide on how to choose the right man for you, but having some time-tested advice can get you nearer to the right track.
Don’t sell yourself short
Many years ago, I watched this film where the female lead said, ”A girl’s got to have her standards“. I cannot even remember why she said it, but that particular sentence stuck to me and I have been a believer since. Every girl must have her standards. Even if you think that you are the most plain-looking Jane in the world, you still need to have standards. Some women, because of their poor self-esteem think that any guy who comes along is acceptable. They feel that they should grab the opportunity when it presents itself because no one else might come along. You might think that this is an exaggeration but the sad reality is: It is the reality. Although there is no shortage of men, the fact that we think it is difficult to get a good man, or just a man, for that matter drives us to be hasty in our decision.
Standards should be reasonable. They should neither be too high that no one accessible to you will fit in, nor too low that every loser qualifies. To say ”I want a man!“ is too vague and unreasonably generous. I often hear a lot of women say this, often jokingly. I am not at all surprised when the man that they meet fits the bill exactly, a man with none of the characteristics that you want to attract in their life. Remember what people often say, ”Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it“.
Revisit your list
When you meet someone that interests you and shows enough interest in you, you tend to react with your hormones, and not with your head.
What if he isn’t well educated? You specified someone who has a degree. What if he does not have a stable job? You wanted a professional with a stable income. What if his idea of having a great weekend is watching video all day? You wanted someone sporty and adventurous.
Revisit the list that you have made in your more thoughtful moments. How far is he from your list? 3 out of 10? 5? If he is too far from your ideal, are you willing to compromise? Are you willing to accept someone less? If it is all right for you to compromise now, do you know how you are going to feel about him in the future? After the thrills of a new romance subsides and normalcy sets in, would you still accept him and love him, knowing fully well that he is way below your standards?
Value the gifts that you bring
When you enter into a relationship, you are bringing into it a lot of gifts. I am not referring to material wealth or power, although they can come in handy. Your gifts are your unique traits, your unique essence that you have within yourself. This is not the time to sell yourself short and be unreasonably humble. This is the time to assess yourself honestly and put value to the gifts that you have.
Do you know what your gifts are? If not, ask yourself what you have to offer? What is it that people constantly praise about you? What is it that you feel particularly proud of? Are you physically beautiful? Are you healthy? Are you smart? Do you excel in any sports? Are you very caring? Do you cook well? Are you good in business? Do you have any artistic talent?
As you evaluate yourself and the gifts that you have, you start to realize what a valuable person you are. And when you know your value, you know what you deserve. When a man who falls short of what you think you deserve presents himself, it is up to you whether to accept him or not. A lot of women end up compromising their standards for fear that no one else will come along. This may work in the short-term, but for the long-term, this may bring you dissatisfaction and happiness.
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