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One problem at a time, please!
How many times have you been pissed off when your man fails to call you for days because ”there’s been some problem in the office“? ? How many times has he invoked the all-purpose ”I’m sorry? I am really very busy“ when he can’t give you the attention you need.
For us women, it is very difficult to understand ”I’m busy“. To us, it is not a valid reason for not calling, not e-mailing, not showing up. With today’s technology, it isn’t very difficult and time-consuming to send a one-line email, an SMS, a quick call in between his ”really busy schedule“ if he wants to, right? I have no statistics to back me up but I can say that this is one of the causes of a couple’s arguments. We feel neglected and our men think we are demanding!
I think you will feel better if you understand how men approach problems and why they can’t call when they are ”busy".
First, the brain facts: Research has shown that women have four times as any brain cells (neurons) connecting the right and left side of the brain. This means we have more efficient access to both sides of our brain and greater use of our right brain. We can focus on more than one problem at a time. Women are intuitive global thinkers. We can understand and consider different problems all at once. But at the same time, the complexities of the problem can overwhelm us. We also sometimes have difficulty separating our personal experiences from problems.
This must explain why our mind flies and not quite on the job when we have a relationship problem. It explains why we can find ourselves crying in the office and think of nothing but him when we have lover’s spat. To us, everything is interconnected and interdependent.
Men approach problems differently. They rely easily and more heavily on their left brain to solve one problem one step at a time. They can be distracted and may not attend well to the quality of their relationship while solving problems. And recently, a study conducted by the Cambridge University, Department of Physiology, disclosed that men are programmed to react badly under pressure. Male fetuses release more of the stress hormone cortisol in the womb than females do. This explains why men are inherently unbalanced and aggressive when things go wrong. This explains why when they are burdened with work problems, they seem to neglect their personal relationships. This explains why he can’t call you: he is busy solving a problem.
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