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Single him out
This is particularly effective if your man knows that you have had several relationships in the past. If you elevate him above all other men, he feels special. You can say, ”you are the only
“ or ”This is my first time to
“. Statements like these affirm that you consider him different from everyone else you have dated. Of course, I am assuming that this is how you feel.
Never compare him with other men
Treat each man like a fingerprint. No one is exactly alike. Look at each one with a different sense of appreciation. Your ex may be better looking, sexier, more romantic, more successful. In moments of jealousy and one-upmanship, you may be tempted to blurt this out. Don’t!
I can think of fewer things that men hate more than being compared especially negatively to other men, especially past loves. It just pricks their fragile male ego. If you must compare, make it a positive comparison your current man wins. Refrain from mentioning other people’s names. You don’t want your name bandied around in your ex’s stories, do you?
Don’t attempt to change him
Acceptance is key to a successful relationship. Men hate it when women try to change them. When you try to change your man, you are giving him the message that he is not acceptable the way he is. He may try to change just to please you, but any change that is forced or pressure-induced will never be lasting. Or worse, he will resent you for trying to change him.
I have a friend who is very trendy and stylish who went out with a guy with an I-don’t-care-what-I-wear attitude. She kept on nagging him about the way he dresses; thinking that she can influence his fashion sense. He not only resented it; he showed his resentment by going out with a like-minded woman. The moral of the story: If he seems to like being the way he is and isn’t willing to change, you have three options - ignore it, learn to love it or leave.
Be interested in his interests
Your man’s interests may be different from yours something that you may have absolutely no interest in. He might be interested in cars, guns, football, stocks, and your greatest passions are shopping, shopping and more shopping. Even if this is the case, you can still share his interests by showing your interest. If your man invites you to share an activity or passion with him, or if he wants to talk about what he does be open to it. It is his way of sharing something of himself with you. If you can’t or it isn’t appropriate for you to be involved directly, show an interest or find out more about it. He wants to take up flying? Ask him what he loves about it. Your interest is also a sign that you accept him and you already know how important acceptance is to a man. If you can’t force yourself to be interested in his passion, at least do not criticize or make fun of it.
Be multi-dimensional
Ever heard of a woman who is a gourmet in the kitchen, a lawyer in the boardroom, a hostess in the living room and a slut in the bedroom? If you are a well-adjusted female and sure of yourself, you will delight in playing these roles too. You do not need to change yourself to be all these. All of us are multidimensional in nature. All of us can play multiple roles without losing ourselves. It is just a matter of how confident and how willing we are to explore the different facets of our personality. You don’t have to be a gourmet cook, but you can try whipping up some simple meals. Nurturing a man’s appetite is one way to a man’s heart. Being a hostess does not mean acting like a karaoke mistress. It simply means being happy, vibrant, interesting and interested when you are together.
A smart woman is always attractive A man who goes only for women who have nothing intelligent to say is most often, insecure and has a lot of hang-ups. Don’t be caught dead knowing nothing about what is going on in the world. You don’t need to sound like an intellectual, but at least, have something worthwhile to say. Read the papers. Listen to the news. Read books. Surf the Internet.
Being a slut in bed is not something negative. It simply means being open, sexy, desirous. It means showing your man you desire him and that you enjoy being intimate with him.
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Recommended Reading:
500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets
A well-researched book by author Michael Webb that promises new, fun and fresh tips that will take your lovemaking to a much higher level.
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Trust him
if you don’t, behave as if you do
A couple-friend has just split up. The reason: the woman has become a constant nag. She calls him every hour, checking his whereabouts, his companions. When he turns up late, she suspects he was out with another woman. When his phone is busy, she concludes he is talking to another woman. Possessiveness and jealousy has consumed her and it eventually drove him away.
Some men enjoy a little display of jealousy it makes them feel attractive and wanted. But too much jealousy can be exhausting. Every man wants to be trusted; even those who wittingly break their women’s trust. Ironically, a lot of women have an inherent distrust of men. Maybe this is due to previous experience or stories of friends who have been betrayed.
Don’t let your past experience or your friend’s experience taint your faith in your man. Unless he proves himself otherwise, give him your trust. Resist the urge to act like a private investigator. Don’t interrogate him when he comes back from a trip. Give him space when he makes his phone calls do not attempt to eavesdrop. Most of all, never snoop. It is not only the height of insecurity, but it can also be very embarrassing when you get caught.
It is not easy to rein in jealousy especially when it is in your nature. The good news is, jealousy is manageable. Jealousy is a major problem in relationships so I have decided to devote an entire section to it.
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