“Goodbye” stage
Not all stories have happy endings. Some end sadly, with couples coming apart. Coming apart, especially for couples who have been together for a long time, does not happen in one single swoop. It also comes in stages.
“I don’t think its working” stage
One of you wants out and the relationship starts getting edgy. The party who wants out further asserts him/herself and the need for individual time and space. He/she starts to spend more and more time apart from the other. Instead of focusing on similarities, he/she starts talking about your differences and how these differences are driving you apart. You start to have arguments about every little thing. Both of you start feeling the pressure.
“I don’t want to talk about it” stage
You both know that you are coming apart, but neither wants to say it first. You are sick of fighting and you have become almost indifferent to each other. You only talk of superficial things and try to avoid topics that will cause fights. The one who wants out avoids discussing relationship issues. You feel you are already drifting apart.
“I don’t want to see you” stage
This stage is the most hurtful and has driven a lot of women to states of paranoia. At this stage, the coming apart is already very obvious. The party who wants out avoids the other. If it is the man who wants out, he shows it in actions. You call him, he doesn’t call you back. You get to talk to him, he sounds bored. You ask to see him, he is busy. You hint you are leaving, he is indifferent. This is very painful because the other party shows that he/she doesn’t care anymore. The flame is gone and no amount of fanning can re-ignite the fire.
“I’m sorry. I have to move on” stage
This is where your relationship is officially terminated. If the ending is mutual and amicable, great! But this happens only in press releases for Hollywood couples. In real life, there is almost always one party who cuts the relationship. Either he/she wants out of the relationship and says it blatantly or the other party senses that it is coming, doesn’t want to be the dumpee and initiates the dumping. Either case, one is more hurt than the other.
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