Getting back into the dating game

After the dust has settled, after you have forgiven and let go, the next order of the day is to get back into the dating system. There is no rush, of course. Take as much time off as you wish. But eventually you would have to get back into the game again. This is the natural order of things, unless you have sworn that you do not want to be with another man ever again.

If you are like any normal woman who desires to be with someone, you should once again tread the path to open yourself to a new relationship.

Some women do not have a problem with going back into the dating game. They don’t forget how to do it – much like driving, riding a bicycle, or swimming. But for most women, especially those who came from long-term, loving relationships, going back into the field is like being on square one again. Starting all over again, being seen in the right places, forcing yourself to meet people, going on getting-to-know-you dates can be very scary and intimidating indeed.

There are a lot of attractive and desirable women who have not gone back to dating. Here are the most common reasons for not trying it again:

I am tired of the dating game.

I know it will be the same all over again.

I am not in shape yet.

I don’t feel attractive anymore.

I have forgotten how to do it.

I am giving myself a break.

I have given up.

I have decided to be single forever.

I am too busy.

I am too old to be dating again.

I don’t think anyone out there will want me

Having been in a relationship or relationships before, you know that being with someone is much more fun than being alone. You may have had bad experiences, but surely the good ones outweigh the bad ones. And to experience the joys of being with someone again, you have to mount the horse again.

In order to get back into the scene, you have to overcome your fears.

Practice online

You have forgotten how to flirt. You are no longer comfortable talking with a man. Try online dating first. It is an avenue that you can explore without leaving the comforts of your home. Read the feature on Online Romance for more.

Change your look

This is the time to reinvent yourself, at least physically. Change your hairstyle. Dye your hair. Go to the gym. Get new clothes. Be excited about the changes that you are making. Create a new you. It will make you feel better about yourself.

Find a regular hang-out place

Nothing can put you more at ease than being in a place that makes you feel at home. Choose a place that you feel comfortable with: the location, the ambience, the people who hang out, etc. Make it your regular place until you get to know the stag, the waiters, the bartenders and other regulars. This way, you don’t get intimidated when you walk in.

Don’t have expectations

Remember that you are just meeting people. Don’t have any expectations. Not every meeting will work out; some will call you, others won’t. Don’t take this as rejection, but new lessons on how to make your future encounters more enjoyable and more successful.

Don’t say anything about your past relationship

One of the greatest turnoffs is to hear someone talk incessantly about her ex with a new acquaintance. If you do this, you are projecting yourself as desperate, obsessed and not yet open to a new relationship.