|
Its time to get out
In some cases, women stay in relationships that are obviously hopeless and unsatisfying without being aware or refusing to admit that they are in such relationships. As a result, they live very unfulfilling lives. If you find yourself in any or more of the following situations, you may want to go through an introspection process or do yourself a favor: spare yourself the trouble of thinking and writing and do the honorable thing: split.
He has been violent
If your man has been violent, even at least once, you can be sure, it will surface again. There are no valid reasons for violence. Violence directed towards you, your family, your friends, your properties cannot, in any way, be justified. Ignore apologies, explanations and promise of reform.
You are unhappy most of the time
If your relationship makes you feel bad about yourself, if you find your self-esteem eroding, if you start questioning your capabilities, if you are getting more criticism than praise, it is time to get out.
You are in a better-than-nothing relationship
Are you in a relationship simply because you just don’t want to be alone? And your man happens to be willing and available? Are you unhappy because you don’t even like him? If you are in this rut, this is a good time to leave.
You are totally incompatible
Minor differences are ok, exciting even, but major incompatibilities are something else. If you do not agree on almost everything now, chances are, you will never agree on anything in the future. If you are a homebody, domesticated type and your man cannot live happily without clubbing every night, you can look forward to a lot of disagreements in the future.
He can’t say I love you
Trying to remain mysterious and emotionally unreachable is not an excuse. A man who can’t say, ”I love you“ even once is suffering from emotional coma. If you are with someone incapable of affectionate gestures, nurturings, I-love-yous, you will never be emotionally fulfilled. If he cannot say ”I love you“, he probably doesn’t.
He commits an unforgivable act
Unforgivable is a relative term. Some women just have a deeper threshold. You know it is unforgivable if every time you think about it, your blood boils and you feel like killing him.
He is chronically unfaithful
If you have caught your man of being unfaithful once, there is a great chance that he will do it again. For some reason, philandering is an addictive crime that men who have done it have higher chances of ”repeats“. Don’t be sweet-talked by promises of ”never again“ Your insecurities and heartaches will never end.
You can’t count on him
You have been dating for more than three months and still you don’t feel you are ”together“. If you can’t call him when you are stranded, when your car breaks down, it means you can’t count on him, or at least, you are not confident that he will be there for you.
You feel insecure all the time
A truly loving relationship is supposed to make you feel secure in the thought that you have someone. But if you feel unloved, unsure of his feelings and feel that you are walking on eggs all the time, ask yourself why.
Your relationship is not heading anywhere
True love leads to commitment. Relationships go through a natural progression and a truly mutually loving relationship will inevitably lead to some form of commitment- whether it is to agree to see each other exclusively, live together, get engaged or get married. This progression varies from one relationship to another. It may range from a few weeks to a few years.
If you are in a relationship, which in your judgment is ”long“ enough, and your man has not mentioned anything aside from your next date, it is time to re-evaluate your situation. Be more observant, look for signs, drop hints, or if you can pull it off gracefully, ask him about his plans. If his plans do not even remotely include you, plan your exit.
He gives you not-so-subtle hints
Some men cannot bear to initiate the break-up for a variety of reasons. They don’t have the guts to say it, they don’t want to hurt you, they feel it is ungentlemanly to break off with a woman, etc. So what do they do? They give you not-so-subtle hints that they are no longer interested, hoping that you would initiate the move and dump him. And as the perfect gentleman that he is, he has to ”accept“ your decision. In case you have been made dense by love, example of not-so-subtle hints are: not being available on weekends most of the time; not calling you when he says he will; not showing up for date, or if he shows up, late and unapologetic; not returning your calls and e-mails promptly; answering your calls with a bored tone; not initiating dates; going out on trips alone. In short, if you feel you are doing all the chasing and you are being rejected, you most probably are.
He wants space
When a man says he wants space, he means it. Almost always, he wants out. There are thousands of reasons why a man would invoke the ”space“ clause but it only means he doesn’t want to see you. At least for the moment. This desire for space may be temporary or permanent but the only dignified way to respond to it is not to insist but to leave gracefully. If he really loves you, he will seek you out again. If he doesn’t, you know it was just a diplomatic way of saying he wants out.
| 
