Should I stay…or should I go now?
You have seen the writings on the wall. The signs are there: the relationship isn’t going forward and you find it harder to live with it everyday. Your life is affected…school, work, friends are affected. But you are hopelessly in love with your man and cannot afford to lose him (or so you think). Should you end the relationship or should you stay and try harder?
Ending a relationship when you are still in love is one of the hardest things to do. Of course, ending a relationship with someone you have fallen out of love with is so much easier. In this case, the issue is more of how to deliver the blow with less emotional casualty.
This chapter is meant more for those who are in unhappy and difficult relationships but couldn’t make the move because they are in love, or think they are in love.
If you are in this situation, you need to do a bit of introspection. You probably are going through the questions in your mind but each time you end up confused and still undecided.
To make your introspection more objective and organized, write it down. Ask yourself the following questions and write down the answers. Do not edit. Whatever comes to your mind, write it down. If, while writing, you change your mind, do not erase your previous response. Simply write down your new answer next to your original response.
Do you love your man?
Do you like your man?
If the answer to the above is no, the answer is clear, pack up and go.
If the answer is yes, ask yourself.
Are you happy with your relationship?
In the past two weeks, were you happy most of the time because of your relationship?
If you were unhappy most of the time, why were you unhappy?
Why are you staying in this relationship?
What are the things that you like about your man and your relationship?
What are the things that you do not like about your man and your relationship?
Does your relationship have a future?
What will I get if I stay?
What will I lose if I go?
If I go, will I be able to move on?
Examine your answers. Remember, there are no right or correct answers. This is purely for your own introspection.
After one week, ask yourself the same questions without looking at your first set of answers. Let your feelings be your guide. Be as truthful as you can. Then compare your answers. See how things have changed. If your answers are still mostly negative, it might be time to leave.
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