|
He loves me but…will he propose?
You went through the ”he loves me.. he loves me not“ list and you are so pleased that he made the grade. He loves you, yes. But is he willing to take another step forward: ask you to marry him?
If you are one of those who believe that marriage is just a piece of paper, or marriage is not for you, you may skip this one. But if you are part of a majority and you desire a stable, legally and morally bound relationship with a wonderful partner and husband.. read on.
Note that I said ”wonderful“. But of course, you would not want to waste your time pursuing a loser, would you?
Will he propose?
Your chances are higher if…
He believes in marriage
You may be going out with the most wonderful man in the world but if he does not believe in marriage, then there is no use hanging on if your ultimate objective is to be married. You cannot undo a man’s belief overnight. That only happens in the movies. You are better off searching and spending your time with someone who believes in eternal coupledom.
How do you know your man is not a believer?
If he tells you straight, without your asking, believe him. If he won’t volunteer the information, ask him. The best time to ask is during the initial stages of your acquaintance, when you can still ask questions casually. Listen for clues on how his relationship ended. If the reason was, ”she wanted commitment“, or something similar, beware. It could be that he opted out when the women in his life demanded a more permanent relationship.
He shares your timeframe
He may believe in marriage all right, but when? You are 25 and you want to get married at 27. He is 27 and he wants to be married at 35. Are you prepared to wait? Are you going to pressure him to adjust to your timeframe?
Both options are not palatable. You agree to wait and you will end up frustrated. You pressure him and you push him to give up. When your relationship starts to get serious and the discussion turns to marriage plans, try to figure out what his time frame is and how you fit in. See if his time frame is set in stone. See if you can reach a compromise, If both of you are dead set your own time frames, you may have to rethink your options.
He talks about the future…and you’re in it
If your man never mentions the future beyond your next date, you can forget about your dreams of walking the aisle with him. Discussing your future together doesn’t always come clearly as ”I plan to get engaged with you in three months“. More often, it takes subtle forms like buying a house and asking your opinion about it, taking holidays together, moving to a new place, discussing about children, etc. He may also ask for your opinion on his career moves and discuss its implications to the both of you. Your chances are even better if the discussions come very naturally, as if you are already a given in his life. If you have to remind him that you seem not to be included in his grand scheme of things, you may be right.
He appreciates your compatibility
If your man starts appreciating things about you that are beyond physical and material, he is most probably thinking of you on a long-term basis. If he says he wants someone with your sense of humor, your motherly nurturing, your ambition, etc. that is good news. But if he keeps saying he always wanted someone with your face, your body, your job, your car, etc. you may have been chosen as ”girlfriend of the month“.
He tells his friends how great you are
A man who is really serious about you will want to include you in his inner circle. He talks about you glowingly to his friends and family. He praises you, attends to you, and shows interest in you, especially when you are with his friends. This is his way of opening the door for you.
On the other hand, if your man walks ahead of you (cultural exceptions apply), dismisses what you have to say in front of others, shares your intimate details with his friends, then he is not really serious. Respecting you and having his family and friends accord you the same respect is a sign of true love and commitment
| 
